Dr.Z: You're Busting My Balls Here

Kids are getting tattoos
younger and younger these
days...

Dr. Z why must you torment me so?

After I blew you up for your NFL power rankings two days ago you publish possibly the most ridiculous sports article I have read in a long time (read it here: www.si.com). I am very dissapointed in you right now. Being the senior NFL writer for Sports Illustrated I expect you to be cutting edge, but not half dumbass. Here's a quick synopsis of his arguments: have the refs penalize the home fans for their noise when the lineman can't hear the quarterback's signals. It comes in repsonse to the NY Giants 11 false start because of my yelling efforts in their loss at Seattle. He claims they need to let the 22 guys on the field decide the game, not the twelth man.

My first argument: They're professionals, get over it.
In high school they are loud games, in college there are loud games, but somehow these amatuer players are able to not false start by watching the snap. I know it's not as fair as the home team will have it, but come on, at tackle, expecially during pass blocking, you're already lined up nearly a yard behind the center, is it that hard to look a little left or right when you can't hear and watch the ball?

Second: What goes around, comes around
There are as many home games as away games (in the regular season)...period. Play well and get your fans jacked up so they make your opponent commit false starts.

Third: Fans affect the game positively too
Ever noticed why defensive players wave to the crowd to get them to cheer. Sure it's to confuse the offense, but it's also to get them pumped for the upcoming play. Look at their hands and legs, shaking is pure pumpedness to get after it on defense. One of the most exhilirating experiences in my life, behind when I got my N64 in eigth grade, was running out of the tunnel my junior year of HS to a crowd of 5,000 at Memorial Stadium in Seattle for the Metro Championship against O'Dea. I didn't care if I heard the quarterback's calls (I was on the sideline anyway), everyone was focused on their duty and to make a play.

Fourth: You are an old grumpy man
Dr. Z is a very talented, eloquent writer whom I like. That is why this is so striking to me. If the stadiums too loud for you, go to Old Country Buffet and watch the game.

Fifth: "I embarassed my team and my family"
Poor LT Luke Petitgout. He jumped 5 times because of those meanies. He embarassed his family. He came home after the game Sunday night and his wife wouldn't talk to him, or make love. He asked his five year old son to play catch, but Billy replied that he didn't want to because Daddy jumped five times. Luke's life is over. Yeah right, give me a break, you won't get fired, NY needs you to protect Silver Spoon Manning. If I pulled in that type of cash, had his job, I really wouldn't cry about it. Shit happens, change and adapt. Watch the ball.

Enough, I proved my point.

In other Sports News:
Luke Winn, college basketball writer for SI finally adjusted his power rankings properly in placing UW 14 and above all other Pac-10 teams. I emailed Luke a month ago when his preseason rankings came out and he had Washington 29th and 4th in Pac-10. I said, and I quote, "I give you a month, then you'll be all over Romar's nuts when UCLA, Arizona and Stanford falter and you see Washington win it's first six at home." Still haven't heard from Luke.

Micheal Irvin is dumb and doesn't belong in the hall.

Roommate Report:
Doc got up around nine and went to the office. His cell phone broke and he had to get a new one. His streak of over 800 cribbage games won on his old phone is now broken. He was back by 1:00pm. I predict a nap later, to which I will wake him up to Van Halen's "Jump" at full volume.
Thom's girlfriend came over last night and they went straight to bed. I put my ear to the door becuase I'm like that, but I didn't hear anything, dang.

Keep their heads ringin'

Herm