Making That Paper

If only I had worked harder in high school....

When I was young, I thought the way to get ahead in life was to get my education and success would follow. Boy was I wrong. After receiving my grades from my first semester of law school, I have found out that public interest groups won't even let me volunteer for them for free this summer. Oh well, looks like another summer of slanging martinis and pizzas. Thanks college!

Luckily for people like Vince Young and Reggie Bush, they didn't listen to their parents and focused on sports instead. It's great that I can beat these guys in a educational contest, however, they will make more money in a year than I will in my whole life.

I could care less if football, basketball or whatever other athletes leave college early in order to pursue professional athletics. The whole point for higher education is to advance yourself economically by obtaining a higher degree of expertise than the next guy. What difference is it if Bush gets his degree in communications or he leaves early to the draft? About $2.7 million in forgone income if he stayed. I don't think any degree is worth $2.7 million in one year's time.

That's why Matt Leinart is a moron. I remember sportswriters saying how great it was that he stayed to finish his degree. Look what class he took to finish the degree, ballroom dancing. Leinart is a much better person for taking ballroom dance than he was before; or wait, if he left he would've been the Heisman trophy winner going into the draft and the #1 pick, and now he's a distant third in Heisman voting and the second best quarterback in the draft; oops. I'm sorry, if the cash is there now, go ahead kid, get paid, that's what I'd do. Law school could wait if I could be a NFL badass.

Now that all of the key players have declared, here is my first mock draft for the top ten picks:

1. Green Bay- RB Reggie Bush, USC
In a move with one minute left on the clock, Houston trades back five spots because they have a decent running back (Dominic Davis) and quarterback (David Carr) and are in desperate need of an O-line. Houston receives Green Bays 1st round, 3rd round, 5th round pick, next years 2nd round pick and Najeh Davenport in compensation. Green Bay does not re-sign free agent Ahman Green because Drew Rosenhaus squashed all respect for Green from the Green Bay organization. Shortly thereafter, Green points a gun at a teenager in a Taco Bell parking lot and gets an iPod nano and a burrito. Green Bay is once again a force in the NFC north with everyone healthy and free agent upgrades at OL.

2. New Orleans Saints- QB Matt Leinart, USC
After moving Aaron Brooks to the Bills in exchange for a D lineman, NO takes Leinart. As Leinart walks up to the podium, he gets on his cell phone and calls Archie Manning to figure out how the hell he is going to get out of playing in the ghetto. Archie Manning then reminds Leinart that he played for the Saints and that he won't help him. Leinart then runs away from the stage to pursue a career in professional Ball Room Dance.

3. Tennessee Titans- QB Vince Young, Texas
Probably the best move for a first round draft pick. After the Titans trade QB Billy Volek to the Dolphins for WR Booker, Vince sits pretty as the #2 QB and heir apparent to great teacher and all around guy, Steve McNair. He's also the first pick in the draft to not be playing for a new head coach. McNair will get hurt halfway through the season, and Vince leads the charge for the Titans to get into the playoffs.

4. New York Jets- QB Omar Jacobs, Bowling Green
In a surprising move, the Jets don't go for defense and instead opt for versatile QB Jacobs. Pennington can't get it done after surgery and new head coach Jim Haslett goes for a QB that looks like Aaron Brooks of old that he hopes won't underachievers. In the second round, the Jets get RB Jerome Harrison, WSU and are sitting pretty on O.

5. Houston- OT D'Brickashaw Ferguson, Virginia
Far and above the best OL in the draft, Houston addresses their main issue at O-Line and stick with Carr. Ferguson will provide Protection on the left side for years to come. In the second round, the take OT Winston Justice, USC for insurance.

6. Oakland- DE Mario Williams, NC St.
Williams in tandem with DT Sapp provide a pass rush that tears apart the AFC west in 06. Oakland picks up a solid pass rusher in hopes of improving their defense. They also pick up DE Okefor from Arizona in exchange for Kerry Collins as QB Kurt Warner retires and Marques Tuiasosopo takes over snapping duties in Oakland.

7. 49ers- LB A.J. Hawk, OSU
With Julian Peterson leaving in free agency (to the Jets) Hawk is an immediate starter for the 49ers. Some think they will go for a RB this early (Maroney?) but Nolan realizes the talented back-up RB Gore's potential.

8. Bills- DE Tamba Hali, Penn State
The Bills need help stopping the run and Hali can help because he has excellent lateral movement on the line of scrimmage. The Bills think first about going for DT Ngata from Oregon, but then they realize he is from Oregon, therefore he has no potential of achieving in the NFL (See Onterio Smith, Akili Smith, Joey Harrington and others for examples).

9. Lions- CB Jimmy Williams, VT
Williams can play SS, FS or CB for the Lions and provides speed and power for the Lions in the secondary. With a hopeless offense because of Harrington (he's from Oregon mind you) the Lions D needs to win games a la Chicago.

10. Cardinals- OT Eric Winston, FSU
The Cards don't go for another RB this year and stick with J.J. and draft OL help for their aging QB Collins. This does not, however, produce any more wins because the Cards will never win the NFC west, period.

Anyway, we'll see if this works out, likely not. Vince Young (in my personal opinion) should be #2 over Leinart, but the pros don't like his release. Whatever, the Titans will go to the playoffs next year and Vince will be a key factor and all of the other teams in the bottom ten will remain there in 06.

Herm