Hermnation: A State of Disarray

The neglect of Hermnation was not from a hurricane, but it''s been because of a job.

Yes I know that car in the picture looks like my G35 but it's not. This picture just reminded me of Hermnation because it has been neglected. I want to apologize to my fans and I hope that you will all check out Hermnation again once school starts and I have more time to devote to the site. I've been working over 50 hours a week in a bar which really drains you. The rest of my time has been devoted to my lovely girlfriend and the occassional beer.

Please check back by Jan 8 because thats when the new era of Hermnation begins (and when I quit my job).

Happy New Year, Get Blitzed!!!!!
Herm

Seattle: The New West Coast

What exactly does California have to offer when it comes to sports?

One problem that we who fight the fight against East Coast bias face today is the emergence of new markets on the west coast. The power is shifting away from local powerhouse California and shifting north, way north. Yes, California has more to offer in sense of quantity (3 NFL, 4 NBA, 5 MLB, 6 legitimate NCAA football teams and countless NCAA basketball teams) however the quality in comparison to other major sports markets like NY, Boston and Chicago is lacking. Currently, USC is the only championship contender of the bunch (OK Angels fans I hear you) while Washington has three (UW B-Ball, Gonzaga, and, of course, the Hawks). What's going on here?

The answer is simple, Seattle, one of the wealthiest metropolitan areas in the U.S., is commited to sports and team play more than California. How does one exactly gauge that? California as a state is divided when it comes to their sports teams. I don't care how large the population is, rivalry should not lie within the boundaries of one city. Laker fans are switching to the Clippers. The Bay area is surrounding the San Diego Chargers, only to leave them in hopes for the next season. Marketing has taken over the concept of professional sports rather than team play. Why are the Lakers so bad? The rapest, I mean Kobe, takes a million shots a game and their coach has an ego larger than the entire team combined. The Raiders sign Randy Moss for ticket sales without addressing their linebacking corp or their O-line inefficiences. Even the Kings get in on this action with a terrible showing pregame in their opener of the slums of Detroit (their oppenant that evening) and making a laughing stock of an entire community.

Seattle, meanwhile, depends on winning as an approach to gethering interest. The Hawks have stuck with Holmgren, through thick and thin and it's paying off. Rather than UW getting a coach committing to win at all costs NOW, Willingham was signed in order to build a TEAM, not ticket sales. I don't even need to mention Lordmar and UW B-Ball (currently 10th in the nation) or Mark Few who repeatedly turns down other offers to stay home. The Mariners have depended on their farm system for all of their great players (Griffy, A-Rod, Hernandez and many others in recent years) rather than cheating (ahem, NY and Boston). Nate Mac was homegrown and traveled a little bit down the road, but look at what he accomplished, getting a team to the playoffs ranked 27th in the NBA coming into the season last year.

The athletes created locally are remarkebly better as well, and are staying home. Jake Locker is the future of UW football and look at what all the Seattle talent has done for UW B-ball. I'm not saying Seattle is the best sports town in the country, but based on our population numbers and the quality of play, there is little to complain about (Mariners fans: it was only 4 years ago we won 116 games).

In other news:
The 49ers O-line protected Alex Smith as much as a broken condom on Sunday and the Hawks rolled 41-3. Thats 83-3 in our last two games kiddies...

UW B-Ball looked like crap on Sat. but that's OK, we still won. Lordmar did a great job in biting his toungue postgame, I know it was unleashed like a sorority girl on a pizza in the locker room. Another great outing by one of my new favorite players, Hans Gasser in clutch time.

Gonzaga and ultra hippie (read the ESPN magazine article and you'll understand) Adam Morrison got lucky, a la Duke over VT, and won on a three pointer as time expired. Because of that, Gonzaga fell out of the top ten and UW is the new king in the state, beyatch!!!!

Meanwhile, I just recieved a quote from OU coach Belotti regarding their snub from a BCS bowl in favor for Ohio State and Notre Dame, "Quack qua quack quack quack. Quack, quack quack; quack qua quack quack quack quack."

Knight also gave his input, complaining about all he spent on OU and they don't get a BCS bowl, "Quack quack quack, sweatshops quack quack millions. Quack qua quack qua qua qua quack quack explotation of third world countries quack."

QUACK!
Herm

Seriously...do SOMETHING?!!

Ok, I know the picture has our old coach, but the point is still the same...

The Seattle Mariners are bleeding out their sides right now in desperate need for a kick and the pants, and so far Mariner's GM Bill Bavasi has done....nothing. Bavasi has only taken one of the one hundred steps needed in order to turn this team around and start winning again. That one step was signing Jamie Moyer to continue another year. But the problems that the Mariner's face are dire, and need to be addressed with a full frontal assault. So far the assualt has been a calling agents on cell phones and repeated denials. There is only one bright spot on the current Mariners team, the young Felix Hernandez, but the rest of the team is either unhappy or not producing.

Every successful baseball franchise has quality around the bases, but this is something the Mariners don't have:

1B: Richie Sexson, great HR and RBI, but BA is lacking, and so is clubhouse leadership
2B: Bentacourt, great in the field, but no offense (15 RBI in 215 AB)
SS: Morse, great offensive potential, but did you seen him at SS and LF, errors galore
3B: Beltre, BA terrible (.253) RBI OK, but not worth what we're paying him
LF: Ibanez, good hitter, but aging and can't run around like he used to
CF: Reed, has potential, highlight reel catches, but offense needs work
RF: Only player that is producing on both sides of the ball, but unhappy with the M's for slacking
C: I don't even know who it is anymore. Rivera or Wiki? Either way, too early to tell
DH: Same as C, seems like a good position for Ibanez but we need a LF
P: Don't even get me started, 2 good starters(Hernandez and Moyer), 1 1/2 good set up guy (Putz and Hasegawa), 1 closer (Guardado), other than that there's nothing

Unless Hernandez can start every other game, the Mariner's starting pitching doesn't stand a chance because our offense is so streaky and overpaid, they just can't put up the runs needed on a consistent basis.

Here's what I propose:
Trade for Miguel Tejada (Maybe Morse, Soriano and some minor leaguers could be used) to upgrade at SS and give us some much needed offense.

Sign free agent Mike Piazza for help at catcher, but more for a useful DH.

And for the love of god get some pitching. We're out of the running for Matt Morris as of tonight and weren't even close to signing anyone else, great job Bavasi.

The more likely situation:
Deal Ibanez to acquire some minor league pitching. Other than that, place trust in the farm system and save your money, they're be better deals next year.

Players like Tejada and Piazza would provide short term help, but Seattle has always done well with player development and hopefully that trend will continue. But Bavasi, you better pray for that player developement becuase you may lose your job because of this offseason. Good luck.

In other news,
No suprises in the Heisman, Bush won by a landslide. I feel bad for Vince Young, Bush wasn't that much better or important to the team as him. Either way, I'm excited to watch them both in the Rose Bowl, and in the NFL next year.

UW beat New Mexico 81-71 in a very sloppy game. I think that UW had 18 turnovers and were only 2-10 from behind the arc. Jamaal Williams played well against his former team, but what was more impressive to me was the quality minutes Hans Gasser has played. In the Gonzaga victory, he made some big plays in crunch time. Today, when NM went on a run and closed the UW lead to 1, Hans made three baskets in a row and D'd up on the reverse end. I like him, in 15 min he had 6 points and 5 boards, not turnovers and no bad shots. He does his job plain and simple. I hope Romar gives him some more minutes in the coming weeks.

Gonzaga got lucky and beat OSU in Key Arena today. Adam "Stache" Morrison hit a 3 pointer as time expired for the victory. I'm glad they won, but come on Gonzaga, make our victory over you look better. You should've blown OSU out.

Anyway, go Hawks,

Herm

Soccer...Fun With Balls!!!!

Yes, I am American, and I love the NFL, but there is a place for soccer in this world as well...

The world cup brackets came out today and millions watched, like 350,000,000 people (no joke). Comparing that to last years Superbowl (75,000,000), the rankings show is 4.6 times more popular than the NFL championship. Why is America practically the only country that doesn't care about soccer? The answer is easy: 1) we're a country with way cooler sports on TV like football, baseball and basketball and we don't have time to watch soccer; and 2) everyone kid knows that if you want to get chicks in high school, the easiest way to do it is by playing football in the fall, not soccer. If soccer was the only thing on in the coutry you lived, you'd have to like soccer by default, not choice.

Go America!
Yay for freedom of choice!

For those of us who watch soccer once every four years, the World Cup is a short time away. Looking at the rankings and the brackets, the U.S. is in some serious trouble:

(country/international rank according to SI)(Note: teams without a top 50 ranking were given a 55)

Group A----> Winner: Germany (home field advantage)
Germany 15
Costa Rica 20
Poland 26
Ecuador 55
Total 116

Group B----> Winner: England (I'm half English)
England 9
Paraguay 55
Trinidad 55
Sweden 13
Total 132

Group C----> Winner: The Netherlands (I'm half Dutch)
Argentina 4
Ivory Cst. 48
Srb & Mont 42
Netherlands 2
Total 96

Group D----> Winner: Mexico (Ci guay!!)
Mexico 6
Iran 21
Angola 55
Portugal 10
Total 92

Group E----> Winner: U.S. over the Czechs (I'm biased)
Italy 12
Ghana 55
U.S. 7
Czech Rep 3
Total: 77

Group F----> Winner: BRA-zil (Duhhh)
Brazil 1
Croatia 19
Australia 55
Japan 16
Total 91

Group G----> Winner: South Korea (I hate France)
France 5
Switzerland 38
South Korea 29
Togo 50
Total 122

Group H----> Winner: Tunisia (Africa has to win at something)
Spain 8
Ukraine 39
Tunisia 27
Saudi Arabia 31
Total 105

Looking at the total rankings for each group, it shows that the U.S. has the hardest grouping (a 77 total with three countries in the top 15) and England has the easiest (two countries not ranked). However, in light of the hardest grouping, group E will serve as the most intriguing group in the cup. Perenial favorite Italy has been grouped with two very good and very young teams in the U.S. and the Czech Republic. The U.S. and the C.R. are newcomers to the top tier of international soccer, so this is a great test of the future of those country's soccer hopes.

With the MLS dreadfully sucking in comparison to the soccer leagues in the rest of the world, the U.S. hopefuls may show that the MLS has some talent and the U.S. just doesn't care. I see a rise in viewers in the coming six months after the cup, but beyond that, soccer just does not have any hope in the U.S. due to the competition. I look at soccer in the U.S. sports realm like the salad at McDonalds, when you could have a Big Mac, Chicken McNuggets or a Quarter Pounder, why one earth would you want a salad? (Unless you are a girl) I honestly hope that the MLS would catch on in the U.S., but reality shows that just won't happen.

Anyway, you won't hear much about soccer from here on out, for those of you I have offended for not talking at length about real sports, I'm sorry.

Later,

Herm

Return of the Mack

Enough of perpituities and executory estates...

Sorry for the absence yesterday, I had to study up for my Property final exam this morning (I think I passed). Because of my lack of attention my email box filled up once again with thousands of emails that need my opinion. Note: the hit counter on the bottom of the screen counts parts per 1000 (51 hits= 51,000 people visited). I filtered all the emails and picked out an NFL only mailbag this week.

From N. Turner in Oakland

Herm, I benched Kerry Collins in favor of a QB named Marques Tuiasosopo. Do you think I'm making the right decision here?

Kerry Collins has always been criticized for his decision making skills since coming to the NFL. Both players had outstanding careers (Kerry Collins led Penn State to 12-0 in 1994 and won the 1995 Rose Bowl) (Tui led UW to an 11-1 record in 2001 leading UW to a Rose Bowl win over Drew Brees and Purdue), but what the Raiders need right now is more options than the pocket quarterback and Tui solves that problem. The Raiders give up a lot of sacks, namely because Collins resembles a statute for than pocket passer and there's no significant attempt at a running game even though they have a great back. If it wasn't for a singificant injury to Tui's leg during his only start of his career filling in for Rich Ganon in 2002, Tui would probably be the starter right now. Tui is the most talented (however not the best) back-up in the NFL and has earned this chance. Go Tui, all of Seattle will be watching (because we clinched and we're playing the San Fran Ballet School on Sunday)

From H. Edwards in Indianapolis,

Should I bench my players to assure a healthy and rested run during the post season or should I go for the 16-0 season?

Can anyone name the suberbowl winner of each of the past seven seasons? No many except 35 year olds that live with their mom. How many people can name the last team that went undeafeated? Everyone knows it was the 1972 Dolphins that went 17-0 and won the superbowl. Dungy, you have the opporunity to be immortalized forever in NFL history, not just be another superbowl winner. Give what everyone in America wants, go for it!

From M. Homgren in Seattle,

I didn't give the long term contract to Shaun Alexander during the preseason this year. Should I give Alexander the long term contract he wants, or draft or go to free agency?

Holmgren, I agreed with your move earlier this season in not signing Alexander, however I think he may have earned it this year. I think that the big reason that Alexander is so good is because of LT Walter Jones and LG Steve Hutchinson. I think that there are backs in the NFL that are better than Alexander (LT, Larry Johnson, or Edgerrin James?) but locking up Alexander for the long term eases the fears of some of the inefficiencies we face (depth at WR and LB). Drafting a RB in the 3+ round could be a good idea for injury concerns because I lack confidence in Maurice Morris because he went to an inferior university.

From T. Dungy in New York,

What do you think my team needs more, a QB or a RB?

QB without question. Chad Pennington was never that good (he threw to Randy Moss at Marshall, anybody could look good doing that except Kerry Collins) and there are no back-ups in New York that are any good. Go out with the #1 pick in the 2005 draft and fetch Vince Young or Matt Lienart.

From R. Bush in Los Angeles,

Where will I end up next year?

My prediction is that you will be the starting running back in San Francisco until they trade you on draft day to the Green Bay Packers who will not give Ahman Green a second look. San Fran does not need another RB, they have a talented back-up (yet oft injured Frank Gore) and they need OL and defense.

Anyway, tired now, need a nap

Herm

Fight...for Your Right...To the First Ammendment!!

Sometimes free speech is abused, but this wasn't the case...

As the Detroit Lions continued their freefall into the depths of failure, the management of the Lions showed how they felt about free speech. In a move with the likeness of facism, a fan named Duncan DeBruin was TACKLED because he held a sign that advocated the termination of Lion's GM Matt Millen. Millen viewed the sign as DeBruin was chased around the fan section (that was half empty) because the jumbotron managers decided to put him on the screen. The Lions had previously fired head coach Mariuci for the lack of performance, but, as I have advocated on this site, most fans and sports writers place the blame on Millen for the performance of the Lions.

As a fan of the game and Seahawks season ticket holder, this is very disconcerting. By purchasing a ticket, most fans are entitled to two hours devoted to drinking and yelling various things towards the other team, and on many occassions, towards the home team for their lack of production. I take pride in this as a fan, as much as I like the Hawks, I disagree with mike Holmgren often and would like to tell him how I feel, whether he can here me or not. Unlike most fans, I keep it clean, no obcentities or phalic gestures, but for those who want to comment about another player's mother and their date the previous night, go ahead, I don't agree with your usage, but it's free speech.

The actions of DeBruin wouldn't have been found to be offensive to a reasonable person (the most important factor in establishing the tort of defamatory comments) and therefore should be protected from offensive contact from security personell. He was not using explecatives, or making harmful contact with other fans. He merely exercised his opinion of the Lions and their stadium that his tax dollars pay for, and for that, we was harmed and removed.

Well Millen, I hope you're happy, not only were you not popular before, but you have now alienated many fans in Detroit and across the nation. The only great accomplishment you've achieved this season is that you cosumed more hotdogs at the game than Kobayashi can in two minutes. I now hope that you are fired, not for the lack of play on the field, but for this gross infringements on the rights of men. I attempted to email DeBruin to offer my legal services, but I then realized I really don't know much after my Torts final examination today.

In other news:
Ricky Henderson, one of the greatest athletes in baseball history (behind Bo Jackson) anounced today that he has officially retired from the game. This was shocking to me because I thought he was dead.

Robert Swift played his first minutes of the 2005 Sonics season this evening against the New York Knicks. In other news, all the members of his eigth grade class were in attendance to cheer for their 14 year old companion. In his first minute of action, Jerome James dunked on him and shot a baseline jumper in his eye, and then Swift bricked a wide open dunk. I'm soooooo glad we drafted him.

Brian Westbrook is out for the year with a busted up ankle. It now looks as if the Eagles are completly screwed for the rest of the season. Hopefully we can get a good look at Ryan Moats, 2005 third round draft pick, whom I picked up for my fantasy football team so my biddy Halfrack couldn't get him to back up his player Westbrook. Hey Halfrack, neener neener neener!!!

Is it me or is Rachael Ray kind of hot?

I heard a Tool song "Schism" on the road today, Tool is awesome, I just thought I'd share that.

Till Tomorrow, Go DAWGS!!!

Herm

Hawks 42 Eagles 0: Changing of the Gaurd

Holmgren, as much as I disagree with you, I'll give you this one...

For those of you who have finals (like I do) and didn't watch MNF, you missed what is commonly called a "statement" game by the Seahawks over the Eagles 42-0. I know what you're thinking, the Hawks are the coolest thing ever (and you're right) but everyone should observe the job Rookie MLB Lofa Taputu is doing, or should I say, dominating. More about him later, let us first look at some numbers from MNF:

1. In the past two meetings; the Seahawks have outscored the Eagles 80-0
2. 42-0 was the largest shutout defeat on MNF in history
3. 42-0 was the largest defeat in Eagles history
4. The Seahawk's victory was the largest deficit in NFL history with less than 200 total offense
5. It was the first time in Eagle's history two touchdowns were scored by the opossing defense (the Hawks had three total)

For those who doubt the Hawks (i.e. everyone east of Spokane and south of Portland), rethink your statements and views and look to the future of the NFC. This team isn't going anywhere (as long as Alexander signs) and Holmgren is finally fitting the bill that we brought him in here to fill. As "Jaws" on ESPN said, "They do play football in the Northwest. I apologize to anyone up there for my previous statements. The Dec. 24th match-up between the Seahawks and the Colts could be a preview of this year's Superbowl." Gee, thanks Jaws, do you remember the 1991 National Championship for UW, or that the Hawks have gone to playoffs the past two years? Anyway, there are many reasons for this, but perhaps the most compelling is the play of MLB Lofa Taputu.

Lofa Taputu, from USC has always been undervalued. After missing out on D-1 football scholarships as a senior in high school, Lofa went to UMass and played outstanding. I credit Coach Carroll at USC for finding his talent and convincing him to transfer to USC. After leading two national title teams in tackles, Lofa entered the draft. Many experts were saying, "he's too small, he's not fast enough, he lacks playmaking ability." Well, you were WRONG. Holmgren picked up Lofa early in the second round to many an expert's "What?". Appearantly great coaches think alike, and Holmgren saw the same fighting spirit in Taputu.

Lofa is leading the Seahawks in tackles (81, 64 solo, D.D. Lews is second with 57 total), third in sacks, second in tackles for loss, and has added two interceptions, one for a touchdown. Can anyone remember the last regular starting linebacker in Seattle that was productive? I can't because I'm 23 and haven't watched the Hawks as long as some old timers. Lofa's play has made all the difference in the world for Seattle's defense. Keep up this level of play young man, you may land yourself in the Superbowl...this year.

In other news:

Congrats to the Portland Pilots women's soccer team who won the national championship. Behind football, women's soccer is my favorite sport. (syke!!)

Skyline won the 4A state title again. I think thats four titles for Skylines head coach, congrats.

Gonzaga's love buddies in the press were very quiet after their loss to UW last night. It seems that if Gonzaga isn't in the limelight in the NW, no one cares. I think the ESPN sportcaster just like to say "Gonzaga". It's exotic and sexy.

Well back to torts of course of course

Herm

CORRECTION: Wrath of a Walrus

Everybody makes mistakes...

I misinterperated at story by ESPN two days ago in which the Seahawks will be punished for comments make by Mike Holmgren.

The Seahawks WILL be allowed to throw the red flag and review calls during their next two matchups. They will not, however, be able to call the league following the two games and ask the officiating crews to review the calls as teams commonly do when a call is not overturned. Play on the field will continue as normal and the Hawks will have the same advantage as every other team. Thank God, as I reported it, that would have been a horrible punishment for Holmgrens actions.

Again sorry for any misunderstanding.

Huskies 99 Gonzaga 95: The Lord has Cometh

Lorenzo Lordmar has done it again...

Not that he has beat the Bulldogs before (0-4) but he has built a team regarded as young, unproven, and not as good as Arizona into a Pac-10 title contender (you heard it here first). After the losses of Nate Robinson, Will Conroy and Tre Simmons, most had written off the Huskies in the preseason as a "sleeper" pick in the Pac-10. Not I sayeth the Herm, for the Huskies have the single most important intangible in the game...a very VERY talented coach. Although it's early, but it can be said that Romar should belong with the company of Pitino, Izzo, Williams, and do I dare say it, Coach K. It's easy to place him here for the obvious reasons, winning, but there are more important things that Romar has done that he deserves this credit.

When he came into the program, he recruited guys that were regarded as sub par, i.e. not good enough for Duke, Kansas and North Carolina like Tre, Nate, Will, Jones, and Roy. He coached that team up, played thier stregnths and turned them into one of the greatest UW teams in history. Now, they all left, with only Jones, Roy and Williams to lead a group of freshman. The sports world turned away faster than Michael Irvin can smoke a bowl. Lordmar coached his guys up, recognized thier talents, and have turned them into proven winners...in seven games.

Case and point, tonight, in Seattle, Adam Morrison, Mark Few and his 6th ranked Bulldogs were defeated, even after a 43 point effort from Morrison. I'm not going to talk smack about the Zags, I root for them as long as they're not playing Washington, but this is a game where Gonzaga should have been the better team. THey have senior leadership, talented players and an excellent coach. However, the Dawgs out played them, they had a stride unseen and new to Hec Ed. Not confidence, it was the desire to have confidence. Let me explain.




Freshman G Justin Dentmon and freshman PF Jon Brockman have all the talent in the world, but lack the proven confidence that epitomized the game of Conroy and Robinson. They are confident in their abilities, but not in their team and their place in the realm of NCAA basketball. How could you be? You're 18-19 years old, starting for a team that was a #1 seed a year ago that lost fan favorites that you are to replace. That's a lot of responsibility to place on players that are so young. Put those thoughts to rest my young padiwans, for the force is strong with them.

Lordmar has defeated a team that is well coached and very talented by outplaying them. It wasn't on a stroke of luck like Duke over VT, it was through sheer coaching ability. On the night, the team's freshman, Dentmon, Brockman, and Wallace combined for 26 points, 10 rebs, 7 assists and 5 steals. Without Morrison's god-like performance, the Zags would have been helpless against the Dawgs. Establishing a low post presence was key to this game, Jamaal Williams came up big, making very tough shots, and putting up 22-7-1 with no personal fouls. That kind of low post presence sucked the Gonzaga zone in and Appleby, Jones and Smith rained in threes from outside shooting 50% on 7-14 from behind the arc (sports cliche). A powerful 8 minutes from Hans Gasser (5 pts 4 reb) showed how deep this team can be if needed.

I am excited to watch this team play, but don't get your hopes up. This is still a young team, there will be let downs and bumps in the road. However, look on the bright side, Lordmar hasn't missed a step after losing 3 key players, and this teams future looks bright, very bright.

I got you all in check,

Herm

Fear the Wrath of a Walrus

I didn't see this one coming...

In a sick and twisted turn of events it is being reported that the Seahawks are being penalized two games of no reviews for comments Mike Holmgren made regarding an apology from the NFL for blowing two TD calls in last weeks win over the NY Giants. Talk about irony, this penalty really shouldn't matter because Holmgren has one of the worst records for reviews anyway so this penalty will probably only save the Seahawks a couple of timeouts in the coming weeks.

In all respects, this really doesn't impact the season that much because the Hawks should win thier two match-ups with no trouble. On Monday night the Hawks face the Eagles without McNabb and T. Cancer and ("gasp") the San Fran High School 49ers. However, in the case that a reviewable play costs Seattle one or both of these games, we could lose home field advantage for the playoffs, and we all know Seattle's away playoff record as of late ("We want the ball, we're going to win!!!!").

What bothers me about all of this is how much NFL refs and the front offices desire a fair level of play. A salary cap was imposed to foster this notion and it always been the case that refs are impartial towards either team. This ruling will force NFL refs out of their unbiased position because they are forced to grant one team an advantage over the other. There are better ways to impose sanctions of Holmgren for this war of words, not the team. Yes it was his mistake, and he does lead the team (he is the coach after all) but this seems too over the top. In the reports it does not say that sanctioning a team like this was stipulated in the rules and the coaches were aware of the penalty. If that is the case, then shame on Holmgren for playing with fire, but I think this is just Tagiliablow's doing.

This is terrible, I can't believe that the NFL would do this. I hope Holmgren and the Hawks come out and crush the Eagles and 49ers and raise a big middle finger to the league. What if this happened to the Steelers, Hawks, Chargers or the Chiefs? This could've broken their season. I really hope this is ficticious reporting by ESPN and not the truth.

In other news:
Ferndale and Washington QB to be Jake Locker crushed Prosser in the 3A title game. Great job Ferndale, after all those times you beat my ECHS football team 66-3 and 63-7 in the first round of the playoffs I knew you had it in you.

UW's leading reciever Craig Chambers is taking a quitters attitude and is leaving the team. Good riddance, we need all the Nuehiesel attitude out of there.

Everyone and their mother will be watching Zags at UW tonight. I gave Adam Morrison my prediction last night; Dawgs 89 Zags 87 in a great game. 7:30 on FSN.

Go Dawgs

Herm

Solutions to Life's Myriad of Problems

Being a celebrity is hard...

With less than a week of sports writing under my belt, I have already been overwhelmed with massive amounts of fan mail to my website. I have sifted through the thousands of emails (most have to do with how cool and good looking I am) and found a few questions from readers that I'd like to answer.

From T. Owens in Phili,

Herm, I don't know why people don't like me. I'm far and above the most talented WR in the NFL and I people don't even want me to play on their team. How do I reconcile this?

Dear T. Owens- quit being a jerk and play the game. Look at all of the great receivers that have played in the NFL, most kept their mouths shut and just played football. The greatest rewards come to those who are patient, so shut the hell up, button the strap and catch passes. Thanks to your behavior, the most watched NFL WR is an OSU grad who is terrible at golf. Do everyone a favor, fire Rosenhaus and do your job and stop crying.

From M. Irving in Dallas,

What up yo? The man keeps coming down on me and is blowing my high. Don't I deserve a place in the Hall? LT got in with that lame earring he wears and he did blow, not what every other person in the U.S. does, the greens. What should I do?

Dear M. Irving- do what you do, you're not getting in. Due to pure stupidity on your part, you won't get in. You were the third most important aspect on your team for those superbowls being Smith and Aikman and you supplemented your nomination with drug convictions and lies. You're not in, so do what you want and keep that party going, idiot.

From A. Morrison in Spokane,

Did you see my new 'stache? I have a big game this weekend is Seattle and I want to know if you think we'll win?

Dear A. Morrison- you'll play well but come up short. After seven straight wins over UW and a top ten ranking, it would seem you have an edge in this game. However, Romar and the Dawgs played your same team from last year, sans Turiaff, and he'll coach his team up as to how you play the game. This Washington team you will see on Sunday is much different than last years, and with a lower presence on the floor, you guys will have to be money from outside. I see a great game from both sides, but UW edging out your Zags 89-87 on a 21-8-8 night from Brandon Roy.

From V. Young in Texas,

My 'Horns shalacked Colorado today and I had a great game. Don't you think that I should win the Hiesman?

No, and if you had a TV by your locker and saw what Bush did today you'll know why. He locked it up today with over 200 yds and 2 tds in the first half against UCLA including a goal line leap after a sick run. You're a great player and will have an outstanding career in the NFL, but Bush was unstoppable this year and outshined a previous Hiesman winner in Lienart.

In other news:

I'm busy so I didn't update yesterday...sorry. I'll do my best to stay on top of it.

Big D's in your mouth is bad for your health,

Herm

Dr.Z: You're Busting My Balls Here

Kids are getting tattoos
younger and younger these
days...

Dr. Z why must you torment me so?

After I blew you up for your NFL power rankings two days ago you publish possibly the most ridiculous sports article I have read in a long time (read it here: www.si.com). I am very dissapointed in you right now. Being the senior NFL writer for Sports Illustrated I expect you to be cutting edge, but not half dumbass. Here's a quick synopsis of his arguments: have the refs penalize the home fans for their noise when the lineman can't hear the quarterback's signals. It comes in repsonse to the NY Giants 11 false start because of my yelling efforts in their loss at Seattle. He claims they need to let the 22 guys on the field decide the game, not the twelth man.

My first argument: They're professionals, get over it.
In high school they are loud games, in college there are loud games, but somehow these amatuer players are able to not false start by watching the snap. I know it's not as fair as the home team will have it, but come on, at tackle, expecially during pass blocking, you're already lined up nearly a yard behind the center, is it that hard to look a little left or right when you can't hear and watch the ball?

Second: What goes around, comes around
There are as many home games as away games (in the regular season)...period. Play well and get your fans jacked up so they make your opponent commit false starts.

Third: Fans affect the game positively too
Ever noticed why defensive players wave to the crowd to get them to cheer. Sure it's to confuse the offense, but it's also to get them pumped for the upcoming play. Look at their hands and legs, shaking is pure pumpedness to get after it on defense. One of the most exhilirating experiences in my life, behind when I got my N64 in eigth grade, was running out of the tunnel my junior year of HS to a crowd of 5,000 at Memorial Stadium in Seattle for the Metro Championship against O'Dea. I didn't care if I heard the quarterback's calls (I was on the sideline anyway), everyone was focused on their duty and to make a play.

Fourth: You are an old grumpy man
Dr. Z is a very talented, eloquent writer whom I like. That is why this is so striking to me. If the stadiums too loud for you, go to Old Country Buffet and watch the game.

Fifth: "I embarassed my team and my family"
Poor LT Luke Petitgout. He jumped 5 times because of those meanies. He embarassed his family. He came home after the game Sunday night and his wife wouldn't talk to him, or make love. He asked his five year old son to play catch, but Billy replied that he didn't want to because Daddy jumped five times. Luke's life is over. Yeah right, give me a break, you won't get fired, NY needs you to protect Silver Spoon Manning. If I pulled in that type of cash, had his job, I really wouldn't cry about it. Shit happens, change and adapt. Watch the ball.

Enough, I proved my point.

In other Sports News:
Luke Winn, college basketball writer for SI finally adjusted his power rankings properly in placing UW 14 and above all other Pac-10 teams. I emailed Luke a month ago when his preseason rankings came out and he had Washington 29th and 4th in Pac-10. I said, and I quote, "I give you a month, then you'll be all over Romar's nuts when UCLA, Arizona and Stanford falter and you see Washington win it's first six at home." Still haven't heard from Luke.

Micheal Irvin is dumb and doesn't belong in the hall.

Roommate Report:
Doc got up around nine and went to the office. His cell phone broke and he had to get a new one. His streak of over 800 cribbage games won on his old phone is now broken. He was back by 1:00pm. I predict a nap later, to which I will wake him up to Van Halen's "Jump" at full volume.
Thom's girlfriend came over last night and they went straight to bed. I put my ear to the door becuase I'm like that, but I didn't hear anything, dang.

Keep their heads ringin'

Herm